I just attended my first ever 10 day Vipassana course. I wanted to do this for a very long time and 6 years ago was the first time I applied to a course after a bunch of friends had completed it and really enjoyed it. I didn’t get accepted and totally forgot about it for a few years.
If you don’t know Vipassana it is a meditation technique that is tought in 10 day courses in complete silence. There are no interactions allowed and no reading/writing, Music, Working out or tech devices allowed. You are pretty much alone with your brain, mind and body only.
When I decided to quit my freelance contracts in thee middle of 2019 the thought popped back into my head and I decided that I should register again. I registered for a course that was in the end of September but didn’t get accepted to this one either. When I was out on my Interrail trip in October and November I registered again and then I was finally accepted to join the 10 day course.
After that my life changed quite drastically as me and my girlfriend since 13 years broke up and I moved around a bit waiting for the retreat to happen. But I’m so glad I did and that I didn’t bail on it to travel out of the country. It’s really one of the best things I’ve done in a long time!
It really wasn’t the best thing in an easy way though. It was a really tough challenge. I had to go through mainly a lot of physical pain to be able to sit through the loong hours of meditation. 10+ hours per day of meditation. I have had a hard time sitting for a few minutes before. I had no idea even how it would be to try to sit for as long as one hour and I usually switched position about every 5-10 minutes.
During the 4th day a new rule was added were every group sitting – 3 times per day we were going to sit with strong determination which means without changing position, without moving hands or feet and without opening your eyes for 1 hour. I managed to sit through that 1 hour and it is honestly unbelievable what a feeling that was. I felt like I could fly out of the meditation hall afterwards and that literally anything would be possible if this was possible. Incredibly empowering.
After that the meditation sittings got much more interesting. I started getting through the physical pain and more into my mind and emotional stuff that is in the body and the subconcious mind from way back in time. I had a bit of a weak moment in day 8 when I really wanted it to be over but I pushed through it and I’m very glad I did. After that I had my by far best sittings of the whole retreat.
On day 10 the vow of silence broke and it was such a strange feeling. Especially because without communication there are no social groups being formed. It’s a truly liberating thing that I want to experience more often and in more settings but it’s so uncommon. I would have like to keep going a few more days, but it was time to go home and then move to London a few days after.
I was initially going straight from the Retreat to Stockholm but changed my plans and went to my parents on the countryside to decompress a little.
I am now meditating regularly about 1 hour per day and it feels like a really good routine to get into. I am very happy to finally be able to have meditation as a big part of my life. Something I strived for many years now but didn’t really have the tools for.